Thursday, November 26, 2009


HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
I hope everyone had a fantastic day with family or friends. It's nice to have an entire day where you think about and realize all you are thankful for.
It's weird to think about thanksgiving's in years past. Even just one year ago. Everything is always the same...yet every year is different. It's an odd feeling when you really think about it. I realized today that every guest I have ever brought to Thanksgiving, Nikki, Melissa, Jessie, Pat...none of us really talk any more. These are people I was so close with that I invited them to spend a holiday with my family, and now we hardly speak. It's weird how people come and go so quickly.
So here is to every one we have ever loved, been close with, and shared a piece of our heart with. I am Thankful for you for being in my life, even if you are not anymore.
Life is too short to hold grudges or have regrets. Be happy with everything you have had, because chances are it has made you who you are today.
Have a lovely Holiday.
xoxo

Saturday, November 21, 2009

It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be


I would just like to talk about how jealous I am of my dear friend Heather June.
Ever since I was little I read books. Book after book after book, and I would wildly fantasize about writing my own novel one day. But everything I wrote throughout my life failed miserably and was never as witty as I wanted it to be. Now Heather June is so amazingly creative. She is the most creative, intelligent person I know. She thinks the deepest thoughts and is wise beyond her years, perhaps wiser than she even knows. Even her blog posts are inspiring. She makes me think about my life and the world in ways I could have never imagined and she baffels me with her thoughts and ideas. You are amazing my love. No one on this earth is like you. You are so special and brilliant and I am so blessed to have you in my life.

xoxo

Friday, November 20, 2009

The dreams that you dare to dream..


Sorry I fail at blogging. I kind of want to find a new blogging site. I really don't like this one. It's too hard to follow people and what not.

So last night I had this dream about you. It was SO REAL. I can't even explain how real every thing felt. I was so happy. and I remember I looked up at you and said, "This isn't actually happening. I know it because you hate me. I must be asleep, and I know when I wake up I'm going to be really sad and wish I could sleep forever" and so the dream went on, and when I woke up I started balling. You weren't really there. It was all a dream.

Oh how I wish that dream was real.

But I need to focus on the weekend ahead. I have projects and homework, and Grapes of Wrath and Oklahoma auditions on sunday. Then my sisters 2nd birthday. Lets try to be happy.

xoxo

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

dum de dum


It has been a while since I last updated the blog. I have been super busy. Being and MT at KSU does that to a person. Oklahoma and Grapes of Wrath auditions are in 12 days (not counting today). I need to find a good character song for Oklahoma, because everyone and their mother is singing I can't say no...so I'm defiantly not doing that. The director is going to want to shoot himself by the end of the day.
I AM SO TIRED. I really don't even know why. I have gotten sleep and I have been trying to stay healthy and exercise...yet I'm completely exhausted. Oh well. It's probably because I'm constantly thinking about what I have to do next.
I am overwhelmingly happy that there are no classes tomorrow! YESSSS. A well needed day of rest :) AND GLEE IS ON AGAIN TOMORROW!!!! Thank god!
I am so excited for thanksgiving!! 13 days till Kelly and Heather are home!!!
Well..that is all for now. Off to practice music (story of my life.)

Monday, October 26, 2009

H1N1


So I'm totally fucked.
4 MT's have swine flu. Within the course of about 3 days. We spend so much time together, singing together and what not, that we are all screwed. We used to joke about how the MT's were doomed if even one person got it..well..it's happened. It's spreading super fast. I've heard it starts in the throat as a cough and I'm FLIPPING OUT because I have a cough. So many people are sick. One person has pneumonia and H1N1 and I am literally afraid for his life because the people that have does from it are people who had secondary infections. This is not a joke anymore. Katie and Vinny, I love you both. PLEASE get well soon. I will miss you both in class!
Everyone, please, take vitamins, drink juice and tea and get sleep.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


This week has already been soooo long and it's only Wednesday. I was in the scene shop for 5 hours on Monday for my scenery lab and strike 14...oh my god. I have never been so hungry in my life. I thought I was going to pass out. At the end they got us pizza and i inhaled 3 pieces, I normally eat one lol. Gross!
So in MTP we are singing Monologue song. They have to be songs that are really heart felt and really mean something to us, and we have to make it relate to our lives here and now, and we have to be singing it to someone (not literally) so that the emotions come through. My song is from the Goodbye Girl and it's called "How Can I Win." It's about how she can't move on from the pain and fear she has because she doesn't believe she can. So I related to myself like this: I'm singing it to Heather, and I'm asking her to help me get through all the Pat shit I went through. Because I'm still stuck in this same spot and it's been way too long. I shouldn't be stuck here any more and I'm telling her that I don't know how to move on because I don't believe I can. So, since this is pretty true story, I'm probably going to cry in MTP tomorrow.
So I am PUMPED for Halloween! Kent pretty much rivals OU's halloween so I'm so excited to see what it's like. We have our MT party and that will probably be crazy. I'm excited to walk around Kent, they close the streets and shit cuz it's so nuts. I still need to figure out what I'm going to be haha..I will. Maybe this weekend I'll go to the thrift store.
I have a job interview tomorrow to be a nursery attendant at a church. I'm so excited!! I need money and I love kids so this could be perfect.
Off to go do work. Glee Tonight!!

Monday, October 19, 2009


Have you ever woken up and thought to yourself, "something's going to happen this week." Like, you just know its going to be a good week and something big is going to happen. Thats exactly how I feel right now. I don't know what this thing may be, but I have the feeling of anticipation.
Today I have to strike the set for 14. BOO. not ok. It's at 5 and they "expect it to last till 8 or 9" WTF?! with that many people helping it should take an hour max. I hate strikes.
I filled up my gas tank today, I guess thats exciting. I really need a job. I put my resume on the career services site for school so hopefully something comes out of that. I need moneys!
I will keep you all posted on the happenings of this week, maybe something bog will happen, or maybe I'm just nuts.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

No more sad songs


I've been thinking. I don't want there to be hate in my life. It causes way to much negativity. And I also have been thinking about if I really hate anyone...and the answer is no. There is no one in the entire world I truly HATE. (yes I know...shocking.) But really I don't. If I hated the people who have caused me pain or said or did things to try to get back at them, I would be no better then they are. I don't want to be someone who is constantly seeking for revenge or filling my thoughts with negative feelings. Really, I wish these people happiness. I hope that they can learn to be better people and find their own happiness someday, because being rude and negative and causing others pain cannot bring them happiness, even if they think it can.
I wish these people well, and I hope they will one day find peace. If they keep acting the way they are though, they never will, and I feel sorry for them.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Friends


I have the most amazing friends in the entire world. This is not a new discovery in the slightest..but it's something that I take for granted. They are always there for me, and I hope they know I am always there for them. They will always come first, no matter what. I think this is something we all need to remind ourselves sometimes. Our friends are truly our family. They are the people who love us unconditionally for exactly who we are.
This weekend amber is coming home! and so is lauren! but idk if I can see lauren because she will be with Ethan and I am super busy this weekend.
Then next weekend Beth is coming home AND I am seeing my friend Hanna whom I haven't seen since the 4th grade.
THEN halloween is going to be AMAZING. Kelly and I are being Peter and Wendy. I might cry. This is like our dream...this is more than halloween to us.

I love you all. Thanks for putting up with my BS. lol.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Caution; emo moment.


I hate that I miss you. I hate that I care.
You make me sick. I don't want to feel lonely anymore. I don't want to constantly wonder what you're doing. Get out of my head. You used to call me immature, well I have news for you. YOU are the immature one. and it's sad but I can see exactly where you get it from. Aren't parents supposed to help us learn from our mistakes, tell us how to be better people? Well, when your parents are just as irresponsible and immature as you, I guess that doesn't work.
I just want peace. I just want to hear you say you're sorry. That we can be civil.
But I know that won't ever happen.
So go drink. Go sleep around and act like the big man on campus. Just remember one thing...
You knew NOTHING about girls before me. Nothing. Everything was so fucking awkward at first.
If it hadn't been for me, you'd have nothing.
You used to be a good person. But you turned right back into who you were before you knew me.
..........and yet after all this. I still care.

Friday, October 2, 2009


It is so rainy!
I have worn either my rain boots or my winter boots every single day this week! I think we are going to drown.
Today is SUPERCALIFRAGALISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS! Kelly and Heather came home today! Heather and I went to starbacks and got pumpkin spice lattes and sat on "the couch." She had a brownie and I had a banana chocolate chip loaf thing. It was bliss. I couldn't help thinking that this was exactly how my life is supposed to be. With Heather and I on that couch...and no one else. I'm about to go to dinner at Zeppe's, then I'm off to spend time at Kelly's then I'm sleeping over Heather's. BUSY BUSY!
I love when my friends are here :)

Later days!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Rawr. RAWR.


Dear Metro-Goldwyn-Meyers,
I love the fact that we are celebrating the anniversary of a loved classic. It is my personal favorite and I pretty much peed my pants when I saw the commercial for the newly restored movie with FOUR HOURS OF BONUS FEATURES. Now I only have one problem with this...it is only offered on BLURAY. I do not have Bluray. I have DVD. I am poor and will not be buying a bluray player anytime soon...so long story short...
PUT THE FRICKEN WIZARD OF OZ ON A DVD BECAUSE I WANT MY 4 HOURS OF SPECIAL FEATURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you.
You're biggest fan,
Alex
aka
The reincarnation of Francis Gumm aka Judy Garland.

Sing..sing a song...


Happy Thursday everyone!
I'm so glad today is over. Tuesday's and Thursdays stress the crap out of me because of MTP (music theatre performance). It's not that I don't like it, I mean obviously it's what I'm at school for, I just get nervous. My tummy was really upset today for some reason and I don't know why, I don't think I am sick though. We have been working on our packages which is a ballad, and uptempo, and a monologue because screening auditions are coming up. Basically what that means is we audition for our acting faculty, then they send us to unified's which is summer stocks and professional theatre, so I kinda have to rock this. I'm not exactly happy with the songs they are making me sing, but hey, I gotta make the best of it.
I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE MY FRIENDS THIS WEEKEND!! My OU buddies will be here and I couldn't be happier. Tomorrow will be wonderful, I don't have class until 11:00 and then I'm done at 1.

So Glee last night? I wasn't thrilled. I expected more, but it was still ok. When Kristen was singing I was like GET IT GIRL! haha. I love that Kurt cried after she sang. It's love :)

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Come fly with me...




Hello!
So I've been trying to customize my template and make it all cool but it's not working.
Today has been a Frank Sinatra day. I was in the cyber cafe today and he randomly came on, and I fell in love as I always do, and I just heard him again from the TV in the living room. Plus it was cold, a very Frank Sinatra type day. The only thing about Frankie is that he now reminds me of things I don't want to think about. But thats ok, because I love him.
I haven't been as depressed lately. I've decided to find humor in asshole's assholeyness rather then let myself feel blue. So you've found a new girl. Good for you. I hope your happy. But really, she had to have my name? I bet she's a vegetarian and does musicals too.

Glee is on tonight and Kristen Chenoweth is on. Life is good :)

Later Days.

Blog?

I haven't done this since Xanga. Give me some time to make this cool...then we shall start :)